do you ever just start thinking about sex and zone out for a couple of seconds and stare into space and then you come back and you’re like ah shit i hope no one realised i was thinking about sex just now
Awkward moment when you think you’re horny, but really you just need to pee.
If I call you a loser it means that I’m probably in love with you
COOL DATE IDEA: take a really long nap with me
And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”
And Abraham replied, “What.”
God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”
To which they responded, “Gay.”
And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.
see you all in hell
do you ever wonder if u have a reputation like people u dont even know could have opinions about u